Hollywood has had a nice run with comic-book adaptations, and this summer is no exception. But before you roll your eyes against at the idea of an Ant-Man movie, consider all that remains untapped in the comic world's back catalog. In The League of Regrettable Superheroes (Quirk Books, $24.95), out now, cartoonist and designer Jon Morris rounds up the most benign, silly, and downright perplexing superheroes lurking in comicdom's attic. "They are some of the most intriguing also-rans in comics history," writes Morris, "super-centaurs, crime-fighting kangaroos, modern-day Draculas, shape-changing spaceships, and even an all-powerful disembodied flying eye." Hey, if Groot can charm the pants off of audiences, maybe it's just a matter of time before movie producers turn to The League of Regrettable Superheroesfor its next batch of misfits. Esquire asked Morris to select a few of his favorites.
DOLL MAN
"You should know that NO FIST can hold the DOLL MAN!"
Created by: Will Eisner (as "William Erwin Maxwell") and Lou Fine
Debuted in: Feature Comics #27 (Quality Comics, December 1939)
Vital statistics: Height: 6 inches; inseam: 3 inches
© 1939 by Quality Comics
THUNDERBUNNY
"I have great power, but I become a rabbit to use it? I don't know if being a superhero is worth it!"
Created by: Martin Greim
Debuted in: Charlton Bullseye #6 (Charlton Comics, March 1982)
Other career options: Delivering Easter eggs; outsmarting hunters with speech impediments
© 1982 by Martin Greim
CAPTAIN TOOTSIE
"After that excitement, men, we need another Tootsie Roll! It'll pick us up—FAST!"
Created by: C. C. Beck, Pete Costanza
Debuted in: Assorted titles, July 1943
Primary interests: Tootsie Rolls, democracy, and a brand of physical and mental alertness one does not typically associate with Tootsie Rolls
© 1943 by Tootsie Roll Industries
MOTHER HUBBARD
"Loosen eyes from out of head, no more children you'll be fed."
Created by: Unknown
Debuted in: Scoop Comics #1 (Harry "A" Chesler Publishing, 1941)
Sidekick: Technically, shouldn't she have a dog?
© 1941 by Harry "A" Chesler Publishing
DOCTOR HORMONE
"You want to stop death—I can stop it! I will increase the size of your army. I will make your soldiers immune to death!"
Created by: Robert Bugg
Debuted in: Popular Comics #54 (Dell Comics, August 1940)
Adherence to basic medical ethics: Spotty
© 1940 by Dell Comics
FATMAN THE HUMAN FLYING SAUCER
"Sorry boys … but the scales are weighted in my favor!"
Created by: C. C. Beck and Otto Binder
Debuted in: Fatman, the Human Flying Saucer #1 (Lightning Comics, April 1967)
Possible Unused IDs: Capt. Corpulent the Living UFO, Tubby Titan the Anthropomorphic Alien Vessel
© 1967 by Lightning Comics
From: Esquire
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